Californinja
by mercva
Summary: Post S7, Xander finds that Halloween can still majorly suck. Naruto cross.


Summary: Cats rule and dogs drool!

Crossover: Naruto

Disclaimer: I don't own what other people do.

Feedback: (I don't write this part -- you do! Think of it as the audience participation aspect.)

Pre-fic Comments:

The basic outline of the first few scenes is pretty much nicked from Kei. Hopefully she won't mind too much.

I've had this idea at the back of my mind for awhile. It was born from "How can I write a different YAHF?"

* * *

Xander was starting to worry.

Sure, he didn't show it, and Yuki didn't show it, but both of them were... emotionally strung out, at the moment. He was because she was.

The short Japanese Slayer had elected to stay at the African House o' Slayers for a while, and she had been fine. Sure, she'd had to adapt to a more basic form of living than the ex-Tokyo resident had been used to, but after a while she'd even come to enjoy it. The worst he'd gotten was paying for her monthly shipment of comic books. He didn't mind at all -- he'd been learning Japanese anyway, using some old temple scrolls the old Watchers' Council had acquired as an excuse. The comic books just made it fun.

The second shock, though, of visiting Cleveland had shaken Yuki. Being an outsider to the close friendship of the Slayers there had reminded her of her family and friends in her homeland, and she missed them terribly. She never showed it outwardly, but it showed in a certain reserve that she now had that hadn't been there before.

Xander had decided to take Halloween as the perfect time to cheer her and everyone up. Chocolate and sugar always worked, for both genders, in his experience.

"So, gotcher self a costume lined up for tomorrow night," Xander asked Yuki as he straightened up his eyepatch.

Yuki nodded uncertainly. "Hai. I go as Asagiri Priss-san. Who will you be dressing as, Xander-san?"

He looked thoughtful for a moment. "Well, I was thinking of the old standby, the pirate costume."

Yuki looked disappointed.

"But... I could do another costume," Xander added. "The ol' eye don't let me, though. There just ain't that many people with missin' eyes. If you can think of one, I'll go as him."

"Hmmm," Yuki said thoughtfully. "There is Guts from Berserk, Hatake Kakashi from Naruto, Bernstein Rugal from King of Fighters, the mercenary leader from Hellsing, uh..."

"That's a lot of folks," Xander said. "Hmmm. There is no way I'm going as Guts, not after Ethan Rayne and his fun little games. Bernstein was a lunatic. Isn't Kakashi the one who reads porn in public?"

Yuki, blushing, nodded. "Who was Ethan Rayne?"

"Back in High School, we all bought our costumes from him and turned into them," Xander explained. "Willow dressed as a ghost and died, becoming a ghost, I was a soldier, you get the idea."

"Okay," she said. "Shall we go shopping?"

"Do we have to," Xander moaned.

"It is traditional," she said, with a mock-solemn face.

He returned a cheeky smile.

* * *

"Aaa, shinobi," Yuki asked Xander, who had on a pair of dark pants, a longsleeved T-shirt, a green vest, a black mask covering his neck and mouth, and a metal-plated bandanna tied in a loop and going over his bad eye. A book could be seen poking out of his pocket, he was wearing metal-plated fingerless gloves, and his brown hair was coloured silver for the night.

He nodded. "Yep! This guy gets to read porn in public, no way I'm missing out on that! Okay, you're up on how to scam extra candy?"

She closed her eyes beneath her brown-dyed hair, taking in a deep breath. Suddenly, the motorbike leathers suited her, and she seemed a hardrocking Japanese singer, rather than a demonslaying former schoolgirl.

"Let's do this."

* * *

"Hi, Xander, Yuki," Buffy said.

"Hi," Xander said from where he was reading a little book, a blush on what could be seen of his face.

"Who are you two," Willow asked.

"I am Asagiri Priss," Yuki said. "I am rock singer. Xander is Hatake Kakashi, elite ninja of the Hidden Leaf."

"Xander," Willow scolded. "Are you reading a porno!"

"That is what Hatake does, Willow-san," Yuki said. "It is... in character."

"Okay," Buffy said. "Everyone got their stakes?"

Xander nodded, eye not moving from the book.

Everyone else chorused 'Yes'.

"Xander?"

"Got my weapons," he said absently. "Okay, let's go!"

* * *

The night so far had been... interesting.

They had not gone trick or treating as a group, but rather supervising teams of Slayers who all had the night off. (All armed to the teeth with knives and stakes, but off none the less.)

None of them had recognised Xander so far, which he was disappointed in. Did anyone else have a missing eye? No.

"You're /still/ reading that book," Kate asked.

"What," Xander asked. "What's wrong with this book?"

"It's nasty," Anne chimed in.

All the other girls added their agreement.

Xander put the book away.

"Ah, so you're finally seeing reason," Kate said selfimportantly.

His visible eye blinked. "No, there's a demon over there."

He had noticed while reading because, with the lack of an eye and any depth perception, he had had to train his other four sense and his sixth sense to compensate.

"Get it," Eliza roared.

As it turned out, the demon led them to a nest of demons. Half of them were chanting, and the other half were rapidly becoming black, blue, and dismembered all over the floor.

"Okay, these guys officially suck," Anne said.

"They're pretty slow, alright," Xander agreed.

Especially to him. While Slayers automatically received super strength and a learning curve for martial arts exceeded only by Saotome Ranma, he had to work on his physical attributes the oldfashioned way. In order to maintain discipline while training them, he had had to work himself to the point where he was better than the part-trained Slayers that came his way. Now that he thought about it, that had been half of Giles' problem back in high school right there -- Buffy had been able to beat him easily enough that his physical training had been perceived as useless, and his mental training had been tainted by association.

"Now to clean up," Eliza ordered.

Xander groaned. "Aw, man... we missed the main chanter dudes."

Leaping across the circle of demons towards what seemed to be the chief ugly dude, Xander pulled out a stake to kill it.

Right as he got to the center of the circle, the demons stopped chanting. Somehow, he just knew that it was gonna be trouble.

"Crapola."

* * *

Xander fell through the air, screaming.

Eventually he came to a stop. Luckily, it was on some nice, soft vegetation. Unluckily, he was surrounded by majorly angry guys in black and green clothing. He kinda picked up on their antipathy by all the knives the nice men held, all pointed towards him.

"Yo," he waved. "And bye."

With that, he was off and running.

"That's Copy Ninja Kakashi," one of them shouted behind him. "Kumokage will reward us for bringing him the Copy Ninja's head!"

Xander wasn't unfamiliar with the concept of parallel dimensions, alternate dimensions, and all kinds of other weird and groovy things. It wasn't hard to put two and two together.

"Dammit," he mentally yelled.

Lucky him, he was able to keep ahead of the badtempered ninja intent on killing him. Xander decided to chalk it up to luck, good looks, and the fact that he could still whip the butts of any of the newbie Slayers. Even if Buffy or Faith were a completely different story.

Seeing someone ahead, he thanked God for his good luck.

Once Xander had actually gotten up to the man, he cursed God for his bad luck.

Hatake Kakashi looked distrustfully at Xander. "Who are you?"

"Harmless," Xander yelled. "It's a long story -- could I tell you somewhere else?"

Hatake sighed, throwing smoke bombs at the feet of the enemy ninja, picking up Xander, then doing something way funky that Xander didn't understand.

* * *

A few kilometers away, they'd managed to lose the bad guys. Kakashi dumped Xander on the ground, then pulled out one of his kunai, or throwing daggers.

"Who are you?"

Xander pulled off the dumb-ass green vest, undid the mask, and pulled off the forehead protector. "I'm not from this world -- I'm from a world where you and everyone else are just fairytales for kids, alright! I got sent here through this portal these demons created, and I'm missing my world already!"

"Why were you dressed as me," Kakashi asked next.

Xander shrugged. "It's Halloween. You dress up as someone and go hit up old people for lollies."

"Why me, though," Kakashi pressed.

Xander took off his eyepatch to reveal the scarred pit underneath. "How many other people have missing eyes?"

* * *

Good news? Kakashi decided to take Xander back to Konoha, his home village.

Bad news? Other people became interested in Xander, too.

"But if you're from a world where we are fairytales, then you might know what happens next," the interrogation expert said, his tall frame looming over Xander.

Xander glared right back. "Man, can you back up? Your breath smells like Phys Ed! If I tell you guys, then it's like prophecy, and that stuff is bad news! I'll tell the Hokage, the leader of this village, but no one else!"

The old, short leader nodded at this. "Come into my office then, please."

* * *

Half an hour later, Xander was a temporary trial member of Konoha Village, effectively asylum since Hokage had pointed out that once other people learned about his knowledge, he'd be lucky to live the year out without protection. Xander, knowing when to retreat, agreed to this.

That didn't mean that he was getting everything his own way, though. Hokage had assigned him to the Academy, basically to do whatever he was told, where he would be out of the way of nearly every other ninja in Konoha.

He absently grabbed a blonde kid who was running past him with a can of spraypaint. "Hey, where are you going?"

"Nowhere," the boy yelled rebelliously.

"I'm Xander," Xander said. "Who might you be?"

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto," the boy screamed, right in Xander's ear. "Remember my name, cuz I'm going to be the Hokage!"

"I don't think they heard you in Wave Country," Xander joked. "You can get a little bit more volume if you speak from the diaphragm. What're you up to with the paint, kid?"

"Nothing," was the immediate reply.

* * *

Naturally, an hour later, three average ninja, or chuunin, burst into the classroom that Xander was supervising. The class were reading their books quietly, while Xander was paging through some books of his own. Naruto was sleeping, snot bubble shrinking and growing as he snored.

"NARUTO," the lead chuunin yelled. "YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR THIS!"

"What's he done," Xander asked, gladly putting down the book.

"He's painted swearwords all over Hokage-sama's offices," the second chuunin said.

"Yo, Naruto," Xander called. "Did you do that?"

"I didn't do it," Naruto screamed, waking up. "It was someone else! I was miles away!"

"Good enough for me," Xander shrugged. "Good bye, gentlemen."

"Oi, we're not--"

"Good/bye," Xander repeated. "Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out!"

After class, Naruto met Xander, visibly confused.

"Why'd you cover for me," Naruto asked, not understanding.

"Felt like it," Xander shrugged. "That, and I like you."

Which was true enough. Anyone who had the chutzpah to brazenly sleep in class like he himself had, he automatically liked at some level. Plus the energetic blonde reminded him of his Slayers. God, Xander missed them like they were his own kids.

"You do," Naruto asked, disbelieving him. He straightened up, lightbulb going on. "Ah! I get it! You want to beat me up for it yourself!"

"Yeah, right," Xander said. "You speak to the world class slacker of his own high school. Why would I care?"

"You... do care about me," Naruto asked again.

"Eh, sure," Xander shrugged. He put a bookmark in his place. "Hey, lunch on me, kid."

"YAAAAAY! RAMEN," Naruto yelled. "Thanks, bro!"

* * *

Post-fic Comments:

No sequels planned, this was just to open a possibility.


End file.
